I sat wondering why I could not lift myself
As the sun shone over my shoulders
I realized that without you
Even my shadow had become too heavy
For me to move.
I looked up after I was defeated and realized that I was not even in the game…
So is giving hope to a person, while you are seriously considering a long term relationship with another, count as cheating too? I seriously hope not. But heck, how would I know.
On my previous post I was ranting off about comments and thoughts. I was laughing to myself after that – initially I used to think that she still stopped by and read what was going on in my mind. You know, as a mere source of amusement, nothing more and certainly nothing less. I however realized that it was out of a misplaced conceit that I even thought so. So was I writing for the sake of those ‘followers’ I had on my blog? Let me not kid myself yet again. 99% of people who “follow my blog” did so out of courtesy to reciprocate my action of following theirs, OR in the hopes of a reciprocation. No one really reads what I write. In a strange way, I am not disappointed by that. I am even thankful to it.
Don’t worry. It is all good.
Sometimes we meet someone who really makes us feel right about ourselves. Maybe that is what is referred to as ‘true’ love. Maybe it was our perpetual search for this ever elusive ‘true love’. Maybe it was just our own conceit that made us feel that way, in which case, kudos to them to have triggered that. So when this person does not understand why we get so worked up with them, why we love them so much and why want to be with them always, we end up heart broken.
Yet, when we are on the other end of the equation, we just cannot comprehend how ludicrous the thoughts of this person who seems to be consummately enamored by us. We might find it overwhelming and even suffocating. Why do we not attempt to understand them or feel for them? What is this? Law of average or karma or just an all prevailing stupidity that some people call, “letting go and waiting for the right one?”
This was just a rhetorical question to myself. In case, you feel compelled to answer this or explain this to me, please do not. As you would understand, these are things that can never be explained by one person to another. Feel free to leave any other comments (e.g. I am the closest thing you have found to the orifice that lies between the posterior part of a human’s legs), I would be glad to read them.
Just wanted to record that I had nothing to say. I am going through a myriad of emotions, but have hardly anything to say. I pretty much contradict myself at every sentence. Am I strong or pathetic, Am I cool or lame, Am I awesome or awful, I do not know any of that. But I do know I intend good things for people I love and care for them. Maybe that means I am good guy, or maybe I am saying this loud just because I am a lame pathetic loser, who had nothing else to prop himself up against, because every one of those great guys out there are the same and MORE. I have nothing else to offer. Nothing cool, nothing awesome.
I can act like that perennially happy and cool guy, I guess, in fact if you met me in real life, that is exactly what you would say – but then I am not him. I am me.
So much for having nothing to say….just another contradiction…
Of late I cannot seem to shake the feeling that there is one part of my brain that would never let me be happy again. I cannot think of one single thing that can make me truly happy, at least for a short period of time. I would love to blame her for all this, but we all know that is entirely untrue. I am pulling my hair out, trying to think of one thing that will make me happy, but have had no luck so far.
As the plot thickens, I am not truly thrilled about how the story looks like it is going to end…
She was one of the sweetest and most lovable women of all time. She is now being beatified and will be called Saint Teresa from tomorrow. She was always our mother and always will be. If I can bring joy and happiness to a single percentage of the total number of people she helped in her life, I would call myself immensely blessed.
Mother, we will always love you. I hope the future generations learn about you and understand the love you had for fellow human beings.
God Bless You!
Not that this guy needs me to tell the world he is awesome, but if maybe one or two you people who a read what I post, chanced upon this, I hope you feel just as good as I do, when I read his posts and listen to his “crumbcasts”. Mark my words, one day, that word will also be in a dictionary….
Love it to crumbs!!!
Y’all know the drill by now. I post a new podcast and you guys let it have sex with your ear holes. (Or however this whole listening thing works. I wouldn’t know. I’m deaf.) In th…
Source: Simon Says and the Fresh New Hell
I would want God to pass all my blessings to her and push all her curses to me. I wish her only happiness in this world and the next…She is my Goddess and she should be treated so…