Every living moment

While I have read and heard from several people that clinging on to lost love is foolish, I absolutely cannot overcome thinking about her. After all, I started off by being her friend and wanted to be her close friend always. I expressed myself at the most inopportune time and behaved with her in ways, I should not have with a friend. I miss her tremendously and all I want right now is to be her friend always.

It is this inherent wish to be loved by everyone I meet in my life, I wanted to be loved by her as well. But she mistook it for cupid/carnal love. It was neither, it was pure, unadulterated love that cannot be defined with a simple set of words.

I wish she understood that and came back to me.

I only wish for her to remember me during the best and worst (hopefully does not experience this though) of times. I want to be her trustworthy friend who she can trust at any point in time in her life.

Everyday, I am scared that if I were to die in a random accident or a shooting (which has happened more often than anybody would want in my current city in the US), she may not know that I was thinking about her all the time. Even if something happens to me, I only wish that she reads this and know that I thought about her every living moment, including my last one.

I love y0u my friend. I just want you to be happy always and loved by you as a friend always.





2 thoughts on “Every living moment

    • 2013 September – 2013 December. She technically hasn’t left my life. But I don’t even get to talk her over emails or chat. I miss that. I am however in constant touch with her Mom, who I met in Dec that year. Her Mom likes me and knows about my feelings for her daughter and kinda supports me. I know it is a weird story…

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