The journal of a wonderful trip…

If you have read my previous posts, you would have traveled with my in my traversals from a love struck idiot, to a depressed moron, to a self-appointed inspirational speaker, back to a love lorn fool and finally to an anxious lover waiting to see what would happen when I meet her again.

Well, I should say it was way more pleasant and beautiful than what I would have expected. Those 5 days I spent with her were the best days of my life yet (and I say ‘yet’, because should I be with her again, that would count too – but I will have no hopes). This is a short journal of those 5 beautiful days.

Day 1:

I was both excited and anxious when I boarded the plane to see her. The flight was short, but I drank at least 3 glasses of wine to keep myself from jumping up on the seat and doing something silly. I tried to watch a movie and this was the first time I watched an entire movie without remembering or hearing a single word of what was being spoken. I do not even remember what the movie was about or the title of the movie. I landed shortly after and when I exited the airport hopefully looked around to see if she would be waiting for me, though she did tell me the previous day that she would meet me later in the evening. When we were back at the place where we met, I asked her if she would come to see me at the airport, and she said ‘Yes, I will’. I very remotely hoped that was true, though I knew she would not even remember that she said it. In any case, I did not expect to see her there, but was just humoring my own expectations.

I boarded a train to the stop nearest to where I would be staying and I thought maybe she was going to surprise me there. I guess I love the fact that she never surprises me, she always plays the way I expect her to, almost always (almost). I checked into my hotel and called her Mom’s number as soon as I got a local number. I heard her voice again and was instantly happy. She didn’t sound resentful or angry that I was imposing on her (though this was a joint decision that I would meet her in her Dad’s hometown). I was happy for that. She said she would meet me in the evening and spend some time with me.

She came down to the hotel I was staying at, but I had gone out to wait for her near the nearest train exit, assuming that she would get off there. So when she called me I was further away from the hotel and came running back. As I did, I played through all the things I wanted to do to her as soon as I saw her. I wanted to clasp her face with my hands and hug her really tight and lift her up. Then I wanted smother kisses all over her face except her lips (because I am not allowed to). I wanted to hug her again until I could hear her back crack. But when I did see her, I just gave her a simple hug. I did not even tell her I missed her like hell. I was apprehensive as I did not want to upset her in any single way to spoil it for us. She hugged me too and smiled so sweetly. We went up to my room and put down her stuff from her shopping spree and went out for a walk and dinner. A bad dinner experience at that as I chose the worst sports bar ever to eat. We then headed back to the hotel and had some of the wine that I bought on my way back in and stayed a safe 5 feet away from her all the time. She was happy with him and told me about all the awesome things they did and the not so awesome tours they went on. I was happy for her and jealous of him as always.

She then said she needs to leave and left around 2 AM and I went back with her to drop her off at her Dad’s place in a taxi and I got my good bye hug.

Day 1 ended on a not so bad note. I was happy and could sleep properly again in a very long time.

Day 2:

She didn’t call in the morning and I asked her what her plans were for the day and she said they were planning to shop for some electronics and I instantly said I need to buy some stuff too. I really did want to buy a new iPad cover, but it was not like I needed it immediately. So I asked if I could go along too and she said I could join them if I wanted to. Stupid question gets a stupid answer. I said ‘Of course’. And that was when I met the two wonderful people who brought this angel to earth. Oh I loved them both the moment I met them, her Mom especially as she was a very affable person. We went around looking for some random stuff and I was with them all the time making small talk with her parents. We finished around early evening and proceeded to have a snack break and afterwards her parents left home and we had some time to spend together.

We decided to go to a Buddhist Temple that I thought was special and later realized was not the one I was looking for. It was atop a small hill and the taxi driver took us up and dropped us off at the steps to the temple. When we climbed up we realized that the place was closed. And what does she do…of course she finds a crevice in the wall to climb up! And of course I followed her.

So we ‘broke’ into the temple. I prayed as she walked around and took some pictures and then we escaped unscathed from the temple, though we were found to be interesting meat by some gnarling dogs. I loved the dogs though – as one of them approached she came up and held my hands. She is not really scared of most things but apparently untamed dogs unnerve her a bit. We walked down the hill, a nice walk for me though she was complaining as she had her heeled boots on. We reached the bottom of the hill and walked eastward towards a place where we assumed we could find a ride back and found a college for vocational education. And we entered it randomly and walked through the small campus and went up the building and used the rest rooms (that was not the intention actually) and then came back down and left the place. We eventually found our way back and took a train to my place and walked back to the hotel.

Now the interesting part begins. We had a couple of drinks and I wanted to give her a foot massage. I love to massage her as I love massages myself.  Massages are like kisses. When you do it with the right person, both giving and receiving are both pleasurable. She usually would refuse but she did not that day. And I was happy and soon one thing led to another and we were fooling around again, though I know my limits. So dear reader, your imagination should be restricted to one stop before the train reaches its destination. In any case, I was happy that she was too. I could hold her again and I did kiss her on her cheeks again after such a long time and it felt blissfully wonderful. I was so happy that night. I felt life coming back to me, though I knew that this was just a short lived pleasure. She told me that her Mom that I was the best looking Indian she had met and that made me smile. I have never thought I was good looking and I simply assumed her Mom had not met any Indians in her life 🙂

She had to leave soon and so we did leave around 4 AM, 2 hours later than the previous day. Not a good sign with her parents.

I dropped her off at her place and got my second hug for the day as always. I smiled on my ride back recounting the events of the day.

Day 3:

I was alone throughout the day as she was busy with some stuff back home. I was hoping that she was not angry as she was late the previous night. She wasn’t. She was due to meet her cousins for dinner at another small town and stopped at my hotel for quick smoke. I asked her if I could go with her and she said yes. I offered to stay until she finished dinner and she agreed. On the train ride, we were talking about random things like we always used to and both of us were tired. I wanted to close my eyes and lay my head on her shoulders or at least wanted her to do the same. I tried to once, but was not sure if she was comfortable so moved away. On so many occasions I tried to hold her hands and she responded but beyond that I did not try anything else. But eventually she did lay her head on my shoulders and slept and God that was heavenly. Of course I remained so stoic as if nothing abnormal happened. But I should tell you that, that was the single most Godly moment of my life. Not even touching her in any other place or form can come close to that feeling. I slowly receded myself and slanted my head on hers. I wish I could have died that instant. I am sure Heaven would have given me lesser happiness.(Now as I write this, I am afraid that I may never have the opportunity again. She sometimes reads my posts and has the habit of acting intelligent with me after refraining from giving me even the smallest of pleasures like this. I am not really a bad guy, but when she tries to act smart this way I feel so bad about myself).

We eventually reached her rendezvous point and she met up with her cousins and I left to walk around town and amuse myself. I should say that I amaze myself with my patience for her. I am generally instantly bored and move from one place to another for no reason. Yet I could spend almost 3 hours doing practically nothing but wait for her. I tried to get a back massage, video games (really! video games at an arcade!) and smoking and a quick dinner. Though I should say that I did do it with all the interest I could muster at that time and I did muster a lot. She eventually returned and I did not ask her if she was going back to my place as I did not want to hear an emphatic ‘No’. Little did I know that she wanted to be with me as well. She went down with me and we had a couple of drinks and the ‘usual’ followed (nope still not what you think!). Though this time I told her some stupid things. I told her that if I ever decided to disappear from her life she should not feel sad for me or look for me. I wanted to tell her that I would run off to some island and never reach out to her. But she knew what I was saying and was instantly angry. She got off the bed and came back dressed up and slanted her head on my shoulders and made me promise that I should never kill myself. I kind of promised her. Though I still feel that, that may be the only promise I may possibly break. Then she told me three beautiful things. Three most beautiful things in the history of mankind.

But that is for another day. I promise to write this tomorrow.

I miss her immensely now. Her man has her now. I feel so damn jealous. But I am happy that she is happy. I want her to be happy and smile always. I would die for it, any instant of my life.

I love her so very much and I have no superlatives to express that.

She is Zhenimisic. I wish she never sees sorrow in her life.

I will love her to my last breath and every breath until then.


3 thoughts on “The journal of a wonderful trip…

  1. BP,

    I guess I am confused. Firstly, what is slanted?
    Then I am not sure what to think about the “fooling around” part. You’re fooling around sexually? While I’m not judging you, won’t this set you up for more heartache?
    I am just trying to understand. I am glad that being with her makes you happy (kind of), but it also brings out such feelings of melancholy as well. So sorry.

    ~ Darling

    • Dear Ms. Darling,
      I do not wish to answer you in detail, but I will answer yes to your second question (the question after the one on what is slanted). The question after that, yes it may give me a heartache, but I love her so much, how can I miss an opportunity to make her happy and it makes me twice as happy to do it. As for your first question, my vocabulary is limited. I actually wanted to email you and ask u what was the right word to say that someone put their head on your shoulder to sleep. Help me with the right word please?

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