Walking…

I had a new realization today. He is with her today and as always I felt that excruciating pain knowing that she won’t be that way with me. But I calmed myself down and with ample help from two wonderful people I have met through WordPress – Sir and Darling.

I have realized that I may never walk with her, with her hand in mine. But I would be happy to walk right behind her, watching out for her and making sure I am there to catch her if she ever were to fall. I would still be walking with her, but not the best way I would have wanted.

I still love her immensely.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Walking…

  1. Hi There

    I thought I should come over and say Hi to you on your blog which both Darling and I have been keeping up to date with. You have been an active contributor to ours and we do appreciate that. . At the risk of seeming a little “commercial” here is the link http://thesirletters.wordpress.com/.

    Now on to the important matters. You are trying to make my life difficult I see. You have described us as Sir & Darling and not Darling & Sir. There will be hell to pay from Darling for that and I will be blaming you. I am of course joking. But I always put my Darling first she always puts me first, that way no one comes second.

    You are experiencing great pain, a pain that only love can give you. There is no easy remedy. I would say however that you must deal with it in a way that allows you to maintain your self respect. Do not sell yourself short or compromise your own values.

    Blog On My Friend
    Sir

    • Dear Sir,

      You are right, I do believe I should not lose my self respect. That is one thing I pride over and I have even told her that on some occasions. I will not go overboard and do some stupid stuff in the hopes of winning her love. I have seen and heard how badly it backfires.

      But I love her so much that I have no sense of anything anymore. I hate being this way and I must and will change. But it hurts so badly and I wish there was a 200 syllable word to describe it. Even that may not be enough.

      Regards,
      BP

    • Hi Megs,

      I do not wish to let go. She makes it sound so simple. She keeps telling me that it has happened to her in the past and she chose to let go and I should too. Whenever she says that I wish I could slap her. It is a personal choice to do so. Most people would let go and think of it as destiny. I want to too. But I am finding it so difficult. It is a very bad quandary. I do not wish for her to break-up, but unless that happens how will I even have a chance. She is 23 and I am fairly sure she would want to date other guys before settling down. I don’t want to be one of them. I want to be the one she settles down with.

      Dreams…

      Regards,
      BP

      • Hi BP.
        Watching the one you love or have feelings for be with someone else or look in another direction for the one they love is the most difficult thing to do. I may still be 20 but there are times when I fall for guys and I’m not even on their radar. That hurts. Allowing them to slip through your fingertips is probably the worst part because you know that, if you love her, set her free- if she comes back to you, she was always yours. Yes, it is a choice. I completely agree with you there. For whatever reason, the guy have her a good reasoning in Order for her to let go. I don’t know the circumstances. You don’t have to Give her up entirely. you could ‘temporarily put the love you have for her on hold’ as I say. Remain true to yourself. Be her friend. If that’s to hard, lose contact for a while so you can deal with those feelings for her so that it won’t be so hard when u talk to her again.

        Love was never meant to be easy. The intriguing thing about it is it’s complexness. No matter how difficult it is, love is too powerful to let go.

        The sad truth is that you might want to settle down with her but does she want to settle down with you? It’s like you’re chasing her but…who is chasing you?

        Sincerely,
        Megs

        • Hello Megs,

          I understand what you are saying. THere are two parts to me. One is the sensible part, which concurs with everything you have said above and more. The other part, the whimsical romantic, which cannot see sense in anything and only dreams of great things happening to me does not wish to comprehend this truth. And she never left me, because we were never together. I realized my love for her after she started dating him. In fact, I was the one who suggested that she go see him and she may like him. As I wast ‘just’ a friend back then and I didn’t really have any ‘feelings’ for her.

          Anyway, thanks again for your kind, caring words. I wish I could change myself asap. I am trying my best, but like you said I will always try to be her friend. That is the best I can be anyway.

          Regards,
          BP

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s