The change…

For those of you who have been reading my blogs would have realized that I have been a very sad, depressed writer. I have been thinking about her for every living instant for the last 2 months and the intensity with which I have been thinking about her for the last 2 weeks is indescribable. But I love her too much to make myself eventually think badly about her for not being with me.

So what do I need to do.

I need to change myself. I need to have more positive thoughts. I do not wish for her to break up with her Mr.Perfect. I know she misses him too much, she has even changed some of her personality traits (she is a fiercely independent person who does not like people controlling her) to accommodate to his liking. So I would never want her to be unhappy even for a second. I would die to prevent that, if possible.

Thus, I have decided to stop telling her that I love her in the general sense of the word. I love her as a friend now and shall forever and I will continue to tell her that. I will also open myself up to other people, but I am not sure if I can love another person again, but I will allow myself to try. But if it does not work out, I will not be sad. Because forever I would have her in my heart. I believe that is all that is important. If I do fall for someone else, well good for me I guess. But I can never think of her as secondary. She would still be the most important person in my life, along with my belle, if at all 🙂

I will change. I will run, cycle, climb, attempt to swim and surf. All this for her sake as much as for mine. I just want to be the only friend she trusts the most in her life and depends on when she is down. That would make the happiest person on earth. I may never be the most important man in her life. But I sure want to be the next best, if at all.

I love her immensely. I will, to my grave.

P.S. By the way, talking about death and grave things does not mean this is a sob story or a depressed man’s words. Life is the biggest gift that every man has and whenever he puts it out on stake for something or someone, it only shows how important that thing/person is for him. That is the only reason why I talk about it.


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