Just wanted to record that I had nothing to say. I am going through a myriad of emotions, but have hardly anything to say. I pretty much contradict myself at every sentence. Am I strong or pathetic, Am I cool or lame, Am I awesome or awful, I do not know any of that. But I do know I intend good things for people I love and care for them. Maybe that means I am good guy, or maybe I am saying this loud just because I am a lame pathetic loser, who had nothing else to prop himself up against, because every one of those great guys out there are the same and MORE. I have nothing else to offer. Nothing cool, nothing awesome.
I can act like that perennially happy and cool guy, I guess, in fact if you met me in real life, that is exactly what you would say – but then I am not him. I am me.
So much for having nothing to say….just another contradiction…
Of late I cannot seem to shake the feeling that there is one part of my brain that would never let me be happy again. I cannot think of one single thing that can make me truly happy, at least for a short period of time. I would love to blame her for all this, but we all know that is entirely untrue. I am pulling my hair out, trying to think of one thing that will make me happy, but have had no luck so far.
As the plot thickens, I am not truly thrilled about how the story looks like it is going to end…
She was one of the sweetest and most lovable women of all time. She is now being beatified and will be called Saint Teresa from tomorrow. She was always our mother and always will be. If I can bring joy and happiness to a single percentage of the total number of people she helped in her life, I would call myself immensely blessed.
Mother, we will always love you. I hope the future generations learn about you and understand the love you had for fellow human beings.
God Bless You!
Not that this guy needs me to tell the world he is awesome, but if maybe one or two you people who a read what I post, chanced upon this, I hope you feel just as good as I do, when I read his posts and listen to his “crumbcasts”. Mark my words, one day, that word will also be in a dictionary….
Love it to crumbs!!!
Y’all know the drill by now. I post a new podcast and you guys let it have sex with your ear holes. (Or however this whole listening thing works. I wouldn’t know. I’m deaf.) In th…
I would want God to pass all my blessings to her and push all her curses to me. I wish her only happiness in this world and the next…She is my Goddess and she should be treated so…
What does it feel like to be loved?
I wish to know
I wish to feel that
Sometimes in our lives, the lucky ones like me, we meet this person who we love beyond any describable boundaries. We love them, like we love life itself. We want them to be a part of our life, no matter what. In some way, in some form. We do not need to have a carnal relationship, we just want them to be a part of our lives. For the really lucky ones amongst us, this wish comes true.
For others, it stays a dream.
We cannot move on in our lives. We might settle down with someone completely different. We will love them as much as we can. But we know deep inside, it is not the same as being with that divine being, we found in our lifetime. We compromise and dare not tell anyone that it is true.
We hold our breath forever…
This time I was not even looking for a relationship, I was just wanting to be friends and this girl came from nowhere and said she liked what I wrote on my online profile and wanted to hang out. We hung out a couple of times and I can say I was gentlemanly as well as attentive. Her reason for not choosing to hang out more was cause I was too tall (heck, yes. I am 6’0 and she is 5’3 – guess we are ‘miles’ apart, sigh!). Since she said that she had been texting me and asking me for opinion on who to date and stuff and I was still continuing to talk.
Today is my birthday (Thank you, You do not have to comment birthday wishes now, but I feel your thoughts, so I would like to thank you :)) and she wishes me and then asks me to go to another online dating site and also told me she found someone ‘better than her ex’ today. How sweet! Guess I was a wee bit jealous, or in some kind of a ‘losing situation sadness’
I wished her the best and told her I would pray for her well being (and I did in my morning prayers today).
Just wanted to write about it here. Not that I am hurt deeply, but I should say I feel a little sad. Maybe on another day, I would not have been too bothered. But then birthdays are just overrated.
“She” (my ‘she’) was an amazing friend. I will always miss her. I pray for her well being and ‘hers’ everyday. I am happy for that.
I can swear I saw “her” in my dreams last night, but I really cannot recollect anything now. Should have been good, am sure 🙂
All you wonderful people out there – take care and God bless you…